I like technology as much as the next guy, but there are some things I draw the line at—which, funny enough, is what my cartoonist always tells Modern’s editor when they’re hashing out my next “adventure” in the magazine. Believe it or not, I actually read the rest of the magazine after checking out the latest “Imperfectly Frank” episode. In the January issue, John Usher’s Advisory Board column caught my eye.

In it, he talks about the day when everyone'll  be making their own stuff in their own homes, using a direct digit...Read More

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Did you know this is Armageddon Week on the History Channel? Every night there’s going to be a program on how close we are to the end of the world. They kicked the week off yesterday with a marathon of shows on “The Seven Deadly Sins.” Greed and Pride were highlighted as the basis for our current business woes. Then they had a special on Nostradamus and his prediction that the world as we know it would end in December of 2012. What a great way to cap off the holiday season!

Well, December 2008 wasn’t too jolly for the manufacturing sector. All industries posted declines in manufacturing activity, according to the latest Report on Business from the Institute for Supply Management. That marks the fifth consecutive month in ...Read More

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My mom used to say "Good things come to those who wait." I take after my mom. She wasn’t too smart either.

I HATE waiting. That two minutes it takes my toaster to burn my Pop Tarts in the morning is downright painful. Not to mention how painful it is to eat a charred, molten Pop Tart.

My boss hates to wait too. He waited almost five months to get a building permit for our new racking system. You shoulda seen him by the end of week seven. He was screamin’ and cussin’ up a storm. No, wait, that was the week I drove our lift truck off the dock. It was week eight by the time the permit process started getting under his hide.

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Hey, I sat in on Modern’s Lift Truck Customer Satisfaction webcast. The discussion focused on stuff I can relate to. Dumb stuff, like companies cheaping-out on lift truck operator training and why operators don’t wear their restraints. I just saw another report that said workers are pretty dumb about safety in general, not just around lift trucks.

Kimberly-Clark Professional did a survey at the 2008 National Safety Council (NSC) Congress and 89 perce...Read More

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Do you like music like I do? Then you probably wear headphones a lot. I don’t jog to music, I tend to waddle rhythmically. I wear headphones so much that sometimes I forget they’re on my head and my life takes on a musical soundtrack of its own.

It’s become a vice. And like all vices, some do-gooder had to come along and pour cold water on my pleasure. That ain’t comfortable. Other than hating that soggy feeling, guilt and fear creep in. What’s there to be afraid about listening to headphones all day?

Nothin’. Unless you have a pace-maker keepin’ you goin’. Some ...Read More

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When I’m having a bad day on the job, there’s always a bright side. Modern might get a cartoon out of it. Most of the Frank cartoons that have run in the magazine revolve around MY mistakes. But once in a while, something happens in the 3D world that rivals even my dumb stunts.

Check out this month’s cartoon contest . You’ll see me behind the wheel of a forklift, lifting another forklift to lift something else. You know how TV shows say “don’t try this at home?” Well don’t try this at work. I did it because I’m a cartoon, and getting banged up is my business. But this particular gag wasn’t even my idea. There’s a web site that sh...Read More

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Believe it or not, I’m an optimist. Even with all the trouble I cause, somehow I survive to screw up another day. There’s a place for us in this world—if only to give the pessimists someone to laugh at once in a while.

There’s a place for pessimists too. They tend to be cautious busybodies, and anticipate all the bad stuff that can happen so they can guard against it.

OSHA’s a lot like that. They have to be pessimists so clumsy optimists like me can give them a purpose in life. But the pessies and the opties sure see things differently. Take lift trucks. I see a lift truck as a cool labor-saver. OSHA sees it as a trouble-maker. As pessimists, they gotta think of all the...Read More

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With all the stupid situations I get into, you might wonder how a train wreck like me still has a job. Comedy relief is my life. During these tough economic times, Modern pays me to lighten your load—at least emotionally. It pays for me to be dumb. But don’t try this at home.

Here’s something you should try. How about using this economic slowdown to get smarter? Or at least make your employees smarter so they’re ready when business picks up again. Toyota Motor Corp. is doing this. Ever hear the word “kaizen?” It’s Japanese for “continuous improvement.” Instead of throwing people out of work during down times Toyota Motor plants keep their people’s skills sharp by teaching them new work methods. This way, when bu...Read More

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Materials handling has a feature role in another big box office flick that just came out. Remember, a while back we talked about Wall-E? This time the movie is “Eagle Eye,” and MH plays a pivotal role in a chase scene. This time the plot mover is a conveyor that diverts the evil doer off the stretch down which he was chasing our hero. This diversion gives the hero enough time to make his escape. There are also plenty of lift trucks driving around for extra diversion, but the technology that’s the star of this movie is named in the title.

Eagle Eye is a giant computer system that was programmed to understand human motivation and also to be able to li...Read More

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Let's face it. When you're neat, lean and clean, you're more successful. I know--"Who am I to talk?," right? I ain't any of those things. And admit it, if I were those things, what kind of cartoon character would I be? You need someone like me for contrast to neat, lean and clean. Sloppy, fat and messy make for a great anti-role-model--especially for materials handlers. Do the opposite of what I do, and your plant or distribution center will be in good shape.

Neat, lean and clean ain't funny, but they're good for success. A friend of Modern's, Patrick Burnson, who also happens to be an editor for our sister...Read More

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Remember the sad story I told you of that guy who was disabled after the lift truck he got off of pinned him against a wall? He said he didn’t understand why his lift truck didn’t have a “deadman switch” that would have powered-off the truck when he got out of the seat. Well, this guy’s lack of training was just one example of the poor treatment this guy got from his bum employer. We got some feedback from sources in the industrial truck industry who shed some light on this dark situation.

First, lift truck manufacturers design their products to comply with safety standards—in this case, ITSDF B56.1. That’s the safety standa...Read More

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If the stuff that happens to me on a regular basis happened to a flesh-and-blood person, it wouldn’t be funny. In fact, few people could survive what I’ve been through in my career as a cartoon character. I'm stepping away from my role as comic relief to act as an intermediary. Let me tell you about the sad case of a real person. He called Modern to tell his story so you could prevent it from happening to someone really important to you.

This happened two years ago. Our friend was 33, and running the dock for a company that moved a lot of freight. He’d only been on the job for ten months. Before we proceed, a flashback:

His previous job was construction, and while at that job he beca...Read More

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