Frank

Automation: Watch out for low-flying cars!

I like technology as much as the next guy, but there are some things I draw the line at—which, funny enough, is what my cartoonist always tells Modern’s editor when they’re hashing out my next “adventure” in the magazine. Believe it or not, I actually read the rest of the magazine after checking out the latest “Imperfectly Frank” episode. In the January issue, John Usher’s Advisory Board column caught my eye.

In it, he talks about the day when everyone'll  be making their own stuff in their own homes, using a direct digital manufacturing gizmo, and cutting out a lot of the logistics middlemen who handle and ship stuff—like me. I didn’t buy it when I read it, and I completely dissed him when he predicted we’d see this happen before we saw flying cars.

Ha! Like we’re gonna see guys like me driving cars in mid-air! I do that with lift trucks all the time, but usually it’s after driving off a dock.

Guess what? The Discovery Channel’s web site just announced a Boston-area company plans to begin flight tests of a two-seater airplane that doubles as a car. The makers call it a "roadable aircraft." People will be driving through the air on purpose!

Usher’s in his glory—even though he was wrong, and it looks like we’re gonna see flying cars before we see basement-based manufacturing make materials handling go away. He ended his column gleefully anticipating the arrival of his own flying charriott. I repeat, can you imagine guys like me flying around in cars? That’s what’s next! That even scares ME!! Here’s my message to Dr. Usher:

"I guess you’re happy. Your dream and my nightmare came true. But look around next time you’re driving down the Interstate. See how many lousy drivers are passing you at 95 mph? And don’t you read in the papers how the smallest dusting of snow causes widespread carnage on the ground? Imagine giving those maniacs wings! Futurists've  been getting everyone nervous enough about the day when a big asteroid’ll hit the earth and deliver Armageddon. Flying cars’ll do the same—only spread out more. Death by a thousand cars!!

"You’ll be sorry, Usher. Remember George Jetson’s famous last words before he was catapulted off the dog-walker treadmill: “Jane, how do you stop this crazy thing?!”

Posted by Frank on January 23, 2009 | Comments (6)